Like I care. Like, I care.

Like I care. Like, I care.

Recently, I had to make a really tough decision.

Not that I’m looking for pity. We’re all faced with hard decisions every day. Comfy flats or those (literally) killer heels? That DVR’ed episode of How to Rock, or the trig homework you still haven’t finished? Peeta or Gale?

The thing that made this decision really hard was that I knew that there were people who wouldn’t agree with my decision. I also knew that it was the absolutely the right thing for me to do. I knew it in my brain, in my heart, and in my gut.

So why was it bothering me so much that some people wouldn’t agree with my choice?

But it did bother me. It really bothered me. And then it bothered me that it bothered me. According to my driver’s license, I’m an adult. Fully capable of doing an acceptable three-point turn, and of making my own decisions. And if other adults out there don’t agree with my decision, that’s life, right? I can be okay with that, right?

Wrong. 

I know there are people out there who can breeze through life with very little concern for what other people think about them. I am not one of those people.  Just the thought of people in my life being unsupportive made me cringe. And sweat. And want to curl up in a ball and never make another decision ever again. And then I realized the reason for all of this: I care. I care about what the people in my life– those in the inner circle and those who are a little less close– think about me. And it’s okay to care. It means that I value my relationships. It means that I’m aware of the impact my actions have on other people. But while it’s okay to care, it’s not okay to let other people’s opinions of me change the way I act, or the decisions I make that I know, deep down, are good ones.

So that’s what I’m working on. Sticking to my choices– the good ones, anyway– without apologizing. And I’ll start with this one:

I would TOTALLY pick How to Rock over Trig homework.

So there.

Do you guys ever struggle with other people’s opinions of you? Let me know in the comments?

Rock on,

mh

 

127 Comments

  1. It would be idea if everyone would agree with us and like our decision … if we could please everyone. But realistically, it’s not possible.

    • You’re so right, Roxanne. For me, that’s been a really important part of coming into myself as an adult– recognizing when I’m letting others’ opinions take on too much importance, and reminding myself to listen to my own voice.

  2. Jesse Schoedel |

    Meg,

    I totally understand where you’re coming from here. As you might remember from an e-mail I sent you earlier in the year, I also have a passion for writing. Unlike you, however, I have yet to actually publish any original work. A big part of the reason for that is this nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me “No one is ever going to want to read that.” I often find that it helps to drown out the voice with loud rock music. (James Durbin or Boys Like Girls are often the best choices for that. Nothing drowns out the voice of self-doubt like a blaring electric guitar.)

    I want to say that I really appreciate what you’re writing here. I spent an unfortunately large portion of my life trying to put myself above other people’s opinions of me before I figured out there was nothing wrong with carying what they thought, so I think it’s great that people reading your blog have this article to help them pick up the lesson a lot faster.

    That said, there is something I want to add for anyone reading this: If you’re like me and you have inner voices nagging you, make sure the voice is always yours and not somebody else’s. Ultimately, the only one who should be in charge of your decisions is you. If you let someone else make them, you’ll regret it later.

    Rock on,

    Jesse Schoedel, Seattle, WA. (Birthplace of Starbucks, Grunge Rock, and Zander Jarvis.)

    • Thanks for writing, Jesse- and for sharing your struggle with letting those “other voices” drown out yours. It seems that this post really struck a chord (seriously, no pun intended) with people. I think that this is clearly something most, if not all, of us struggle with.

      Keep rockin’. :)
      xo,
      mh

  3. Hi Meg! Age has nothing to do with tough decisions. And yes, even as an adult you will always care about what other people think. That’s just part of being human. But when the tough decisions come around give yourself time and follow your inner light. It will always lead you to your true north.

    Keep up the great work.
    Blessings,
    Kim

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